{"id":185,"date":"2012-02-25T14:14:36","date_gmt":"2012-02-25T13:14:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/?p=185"},"modified":"2012-03-09T22:03:25","modified_gmt":"2012-03-09T21:03:25","slug":"gulmek","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/?p=185","title":{"rendered":"G\u00fclmek"},"content":{"rendered":"

G\u00fcne\u015fi arkamda b\u0131rak\u0131p\u00a0 bat\u0131ya yolculu\u011fumun\u00a0 ilk g\u00fcn\u00fc. D\u00fcn gece pek analayamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m y\u0131llard\u0131r ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu \u015fehir nekadar karanl\u0131k ne kadar\u00a0 muhta\u00e7 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu g\u00f6z\u00fcme.<\/strong>\"0003\" G\u00fcn \u00e7ok sesli sessizli\u011fin Hakim oldu\u011fu bir g\u00fcn\u2018\u00fcn \u00a0hikayesi. Karanl\u0131kta bir \u0131\u015f\u0131k, g\u00fclen bir y\u00fcz arar gibi bir efsane. D\u00fcnyam\u0131z nereye \u00a0gidiyor !? insanlar\u0131n as\u0131k y\u00fczlerle ko\u015fu\u015fturmalar\u0131, bense oturmu\u015f g\u00fclen bir y\u00fcz ar\u0131yorum cehennemimde.<\/p>\n

Binlerce soru beynimde dans ediyor, fark\u0131nda bile de\u011filim. Kaybetti\u011fimiz, unuttu\u011fumuz, vaz ge\u00e7tim kahkahadan; olmayan g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme y\u00fczlerde. Oysa ne kadar \u00e7ok g\u00fcler, kahkahalar atard\u0131k G\u00fcne\u015f\u2018in \u015fahitli\u011finde. Y\u00fcreklerde, dokunulmazl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ke\u015ffettiren, farkl\u0131 hayat penceresi, k\u0131sacas\u0131 bakmas\u0131n\u0131 bilen g\u00f6zlerin en k\u0131ymetli hazinesi. \u00a0Bu cehennemde toplumun bir bireyi \u00a0olarak cenneti ya\u015famak varken, sessiz ba\u015flayan hikayenin ve kimsenin g\u00f6remedi\u011fi, sadece bir y\u00fcrekte yank\u0131lanan \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131. Kulaklara, g\u00f6zlere ve y\u00fcreklere ula\u015fma zaman\u0131n\u0131n geldi\u011fi an. G\u00f6rmeyen g\u00f6zler \u00a0aralanm\u0131\u015f, i\u00e7eriye \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131l, huzur ve gelecek vadeden bir ayd\u0131nl\u0131k, na\u011fme na\u011fme y\u00fckselen bir \u015fark\u0131n\u0131n notalar\u0131 gibi. Bir dilek tutmak gerek i\u00e7imizden. Kahkadan yana, daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 dilemediklerimizden. Bu g\u00fcn\u00fcn hikayesi bir az \u00a0farkl\u0131 olsada.<\/p>\n

G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcn yar\u0131s\u0131 insanlar\u0131 izleyerek ge\u00e7ti. Bu \u00f6nemli \u00a0konuda insanl\u0131k olarak ne kadar kay\u0131p verdi\u011fimizi anlamak istedim. Benim i\u015fim, daha do\u011frusu i\u015f d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndaki i\u015fim insan g\u00f6zlemcili\u011fi ve onlar\u0131 yaz\u0131ya aktarmak de\u011fil.\u00a0 Bu g\u00fcn ne olduysa, biz insanlar\u0131n hayat\u0131m\u0131zda \u00f6nemsemedi\u011fimiz, ama bizi biz eden bir duygudan,bir tepkiden,bir varolu\u015ftan yazaca\u011f\u0131m. O insanlar\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcnde kaybolmu\u015f duygu ve o istemli, isteksiz tepki. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n ya\u015fam bi\u00e7imi oldu\u011fu kadar,insan\u0131 insan eden. Merak\u2018m\u0131 ettiniz; duygunun ad\u0131 g\u00fclmek; \u00a0o duygu\u2018 ki,insanlar\u0131n yapmac\u0131k y\u00fczlerinden \u00e7ok uzakta,sadece mutlu anlar\u0131n ifadesi. \u0130nsana yak\u0131\u015fan g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme, kahkaha \u00a0insanlar ne ara unuttu bu duyguyu.\"kahkaha\"<\/p>\n

Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey o an \u00f6n\u00fcmden ge\u00e7en insanlara \u00a0bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131m kadar, ac\u0131rcas\u0131na ve anlaml\u0131 olamazd\u0131. Kim ne derse desin, g\u00fclmeyen y\u00fczler, kahkahas\u0131z sesler, mutsuz ve umutsuz y\u00fczler; benim y\u00fcre\u011fim buna dayanamazd\u0131. D\u00fcnyam, o ana kadar sadece kendim i\u00e7in ya\u015fayabilece\u011fime y\u00f6nelikti. Uzun ama sab\u0131r gerektiren bir yolda yoku\u015f yukar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar gibi yorgundum. Kimse beni anlamayabilir, kimse beni oldu\u011fum gibi kabul etmeyebilirdi, ama ger\u00e7ekten hayat\u0131\u0131m\u0131n rengarenk oldu\u011funu bu g\u00fcn burada anlad\u0131m. Herkes benim yapamad\u0131klar\u0131mla ilgilenirken,neler \u00a0yapabildi\u011fimin fark\u0131ndayd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ok ufak \u015feylerle mutlu olabilirdim, dudaklar\u0131mdan kahkahay\u0131, y\u00fcz\u00fcmden g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyi eksik etmeden. Bu \u00fclkede, yaln\u0131z ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m hissine kap\u0131l\u0131yorsan\u0131z yan\u0131l\u0131yorsunuz. Ben duygular\u0131m\u0131 yo\u011fun \u00a0ya\u015fad\u0131m. Benim d\u00fcnyamda k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011fe yer olmad\u0131. \u0130yilik ve g\u00fczellik \u00fczerine kurulu \u00e7ingen hayat\u0131md\u0131 tek dayana\u011f\u0131m. \u00d6zlemini hi\u00e7 \u00e7ekmedi\u011fim g\u00fclen y\u00fczler, kahkaha dolu ya\u015fam\u0131m oldu. \u015eimdi bakt\u0131k\u00e7a ge\u00e7mi\u015fime bu g\u00fcn\u00fcme ac\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n

G\u00fclerken a\u011flamayla tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, a\u011flarken g\u00fclmeyle, ikisinin aras\u0131nda kald\u0131\u011f\u0131mda akl\u0131ma gelirdi g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme. Her \u015feye ra\u011fmen de\u011fi\u015fmeyen yolda\u015f\u0131m, en b\u00fcy\u00fck a\u015fk\u0131m kahkaha\u2019ya hep sad\u0131k kald\u0131m. S\u00f6z\u00fcn bu kadar ucuz olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde, komedyenler bile a\u011flat\u0131yorsa g\u00fcld\u00fcrmek yerine.<\/p>\n

Bu g\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7, d\u00f6rt saat boyunca \u00f6n\u00fcmden ge\u00e7en bu insanlar neredeyse g\u00fclmeyi unutmu\u015f; herkesin surat\u0131 as\u0131k, mahkeme duvar\u0131 gibi. Ben tek ba\u015f\u0131ma g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi\u011fimde, deli s\u0131fat\u0131nda yarg\u0131lan\u0131yorum. Peki bu \u00f6n\u00fcmden gee\u00e7en insan toplulu\u011funu bu hale getiren ne? insanlar\u0131n g\u00fclmek kadar g\u00fczel bir eylemi nerde ve ne zaman unuttuklar\u0131 hakk\u0131nda bir fikrimiz varm\u0131. G\u00fclmek \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fckse e\u011fer bu \u00f6n\u00fcmden ge\u00e7enler esir,mahkum, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc bekleyen hastalardanm\u0131 olu\u015ftu. \u0130dam mahkumu Deniz Gezmi\u015f bile, \u00f6l\u00fcme giderken g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n

Maddecili\u011fin egemen oldu\u011fu \u00a0D\u00fcnyada, maneviyat temelini olu\u015fturmal\u0131yd\u0131 \u00a0s\u0131cak bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme asl\u0131nda. Maneviyat\u0131n aynas\u0131 bir bebe\u011fin; d\u00fcnyay\u0131 alaya al\u0131rcas\u0131na g\u00fclmesinde sakl\u0131yd\u0131 sihir. Biz yeti\u015fkinler tam tersine g\u00fcleriz \u00a0ancak a\u011flanacak halimize. Almanya\u00a0 \u00f6yle yaln\u0131zl\u0131klar, karanl\u0131klar ve g\u00fcne\u015fin olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir \u00a0\u00fclke de\u011fil. Bu g\u00fcn bir ba\u015fka g\u00f6r\u00fcnse\u2018de g\u00f6z\u00fcme, g\u00fcne\u015fsiz puslu havas\u0131na verdim.<\/p>\n

Nas\u0131l olsa hayat bir \u015faka de\u011filmi! \u015fakan\u0131n sonunu tatl\u0131ya ba\u011flar\u0131m g\u00fclerek. \u00a0G\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00f6renler \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131rlar belki sand\u0131klar\u0131ndan saklad\u0131klar\u0131 g\u00fcmeyi,kim bilir; belki de \u00a0kimileri giydirir \u00fczerime bir deli g\u00f6mle\u011fi.<\/p>\n

Mehmet Tevfik<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

G\u00fcne\u015fi arkamda b\u0131rak\u0131p\u00a0 bat\u0131ya yolculu\u011fumun\u00a0 ilk g\u00fcn\u00fc. D\u00fcn gece pek analayamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m y\u0131llard\u0131r ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu \u015fehir nekadar karanl\u0131k ne kadar\u00a0 muhta\u00e7 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu g\u00f6z\u00fcme. G\u00fcn \u00e7ok sesli sessizli\u011fin Hakim oldu\u011fu bir g\u00fcn\u2018\u00fcn \u00a0hikayesi. Karanl\u0131kta bir \u0131\u015f\u0131k, g\u00fclen bir y\u00fcz arar gibi bir … Okumaya devam et →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/185"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=185"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/185\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":187,"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/185\/revisions\/187"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=185"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=185"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/eurovizyon.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=185"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}